It is God's heart to restore proper family relationships. However, what we are witnessing now is the devil’s preemptive strike against the unity of families. The enemy has several specific strategies, and over the next month I am going to expose them. In part one we have discussed the devil’s assault against authority and maturity. Today, we will discuss the assault of perfectionism.
ASSAULT OF PERFECTIONISM
Performance and perfectionism have become so woven into the fabric of our society that is has found a permanent place in the family dynamic as well. Parents feel the pressure for their children to be responsible members of society, independent decision makers and financially independent. The lie the enemy has interjected is that the child’s actions are a direct reflection upon them. Not just them as people, but on the parent’s values, and God forbid, upon their Christianity. Consequently, this requires the child to remain subservient to the parent and continue under their authority long into adulthood. If you are living under the corollary of Genesis 2:24 and believe that because your child is not married then they remain under your authority I encourage you to consider Proverbs 22:6, Proverbs 17:6, 2 Chronicles 25:4 and Proverbs 20:7.
No doubt every parent will object by saying that their love will not allow their child to languish in misery and torment if they have anything to do with it. I will grant you that young adult children sometimes need a course correction. It might come in the form of an intervention, rescuing them from a particularly bad decision. However, this does not equate to the exercise of parental authority. That is simply the blessing and responsibility of relationship.
Children must cut the apron strings and establish boundaries. Violated boundaries must have consequences associated with them. Otherwise they are useless. Parents must mature to the place of an interested peer and abandon the idea that you are to remain an authority in the life of your child. This will protect you from self-imposed guilt and shame upon you for every decision they make that you disagree with.